I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
