You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
