wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
