So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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