are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
