walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
