I want to walk on stilts...naked
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
