office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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