i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Me too!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize
