You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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