i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
