He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
