Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
