I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize