well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
