I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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