Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
