but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize