oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
