I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
