i would punch a child for taco bell
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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