I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
