super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
