FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
