SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
