i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
