I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
worst night to have a conscience
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
