At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize