New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My cat gives me a boner
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
