Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
