Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
