UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
