your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i think my tv is drunk
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
