Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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