butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize