Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
