census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
