she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
4 words: hood of his car
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
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now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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