worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
