I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
