it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize