I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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