Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
