you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
