Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
