Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
