True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
