so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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