Its about making memories worth repressing
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
