Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize