I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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