i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
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