i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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