so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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