he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
