Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
