Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
