You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I DEMAND FORESKIN
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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