I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
