I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
