I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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