Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
