Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
