on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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