hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
